To a certain extent I both absorb and give out energies. When I isolate, do my cave-dwelling routine, I intentionally cut myself off from other people. Sometimes I do it too much. I need and am hungry for the energies and caring that real friends give to me, and I like to give it back as well. I do acknowledge I need alone time to recharge my batteries and do inner healing, something nobody can do for me. So I have both phases or colors. Perhaps I am like a chameleon, the animal that changes their color as to be invisible. Sometimes I hide also.
chamelonbottle.jpg
I know two things are true: Part of me changes in a good way when I am around people who buoy me up, and I can slide downhill if I am around low-energy people when I'm also low-energy. I have to mind my emotional energy P's and Q's. Not only do I need other people but need the right people and choose the right people to be with at certain times.
Online in chat rooms I use puns and wacky humor sometimes. I probably do that because I want you to see me as witty and clever, maybe to compensate for part of me that feels he isn't. Beyond interpretatimg everything ad infinitum, I do enjoy listening and being listened to; they go hand in hand. It's the stuff that keeps my motor running.
I don't want people to misunderstand my alone-time needs, but I want them to understand that the way I am wired, I have a need to go there sometimes. I do feel occasionally "people hungry" and it happens most when I feel the intense loneliness. I need to watch myself and mind my moods so that between the extremes I stay somewhere near a balance point. I say "somewhere near" because hitting smack dab in the middle is not always possible except only for a short haul, no matter what the medication milkshake has been. Long hauls are a goal by themselves.
I just need that alone time as well as seek out people who are important to me to both nurture me and for me to nurture them. Not long ago I lost a close friend, Tony, an extraordinary listener, a person who knew the art of listening well, for me and for many who knew him. Finding people with a gift for listening like Tony is well worth the looking; you might say for me he is a reference standard.
tony.jpg
It appears I need time both alone and with people time and that I believe that is my operating system.
You do not have the required permissions to view the files attached to this post.